“If there’s nothing to fix, what do I want to do/how do I want it to look/what do I want to experience…”
At the end of 2018 I was in an energy funk of sorts. And the more I tried to get out of it, the more I dug and the harder I pushed, the less inspired I felt.
And I remember being on the phone with a mentor and dear friend of mine who said something to the effect of, “Why don’t you declare the fix Ciji project complete? You’ve made it. You’re good. You can decide to stop relating to yourself like there’s something to fix and start taking on what you want because it interests you and not because something is broken or there’s anything to prove…”
And that was such an eye opening moment because I realized she was right. And not in a “She’s right and I’m so perfect” kind of way. But in the kind of way that forced me to own the place I was in and the personal growth work I’ve done over the last 8 years because up until that point, I’m not sure I had.
And throughout 2019, I’ve been committed to looking at all the areas of my life from the perspective of, “If there’s nothing to fix, what do I want to do/how do I want it to look/what do I want to experience…”
And that context has been transformational. Because it’s helped me sift and sort through what I thought I cared about, what I actually care about, and what truly feels good. And moving from that perspective has begun to give way to the new inspiration I’d been seeking…